


Deepest Truths

by Naughtyplier



Series: Bangiplier Trilogy [1]
Category: Dan Avidan - Fandom, Game Grumps, Ninja Sex Party - Fandom, Starbomb, mark fischbach - Fandom, markiplier - Fandom
Genre: Anal Sex, Bangiplier - Freeform, Blow Jobs, Body Worship, Explicit Sexual Content, Falling In Love, Gay Sex, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Markiplier - Freeform, Self-Acceptance, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Sexual Tension, Suicide Attempt, dan avidan - Freeform, danny sexbang - Freeform, same sex couple
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-30
Updated: 2016-05-30
Packaged: 2018-07-11 02:20:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7022644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Naughtyplier/pseuds/Naughtyplier
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mark and Danny have been smitten by each other since they first saw each others' videos. But when they meet, the feelings become all too real, and their lives become filled with excitement, confusion, anger and heartbreak. Will they be together in the end?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Deepest Truths

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warning: self harm, suicidal thoughts.
> 
> This is the beginning of a trilogy that I am still working on. So please let me know if you want more and I will post more! :3

**Danny’s POV**

“Why am I so nervous for tonight, Arin? Jesus, we’re just meeting Mark for the first time. My hands are sweating. WHAT IF THEY’RE ALL GROSS WHEN I SHAKE HIS HAND? Is my hair okay?” Arin and I are in the kitchen and he looks at me like I’m an idiot.  
“Dan. Relax. You’re nervous because you think he’s gorgeous, and your hair is always in its Jewy state. Calm down, bro.” He looks at me with almost pity. “He’s straight anyway. He wouldn’t date you.” My heart sinks a little when he says this. I know he’s straight, and there isn’t any way in hell I will be with him, but I can have my fantasies, right? Apparently my heart sinking is obvious with my body language. He puts his hands on my shoulders and looks at me.  
“Dan. You’ll find someone someday. I promise you.” He says with reassurance.  
“THAT makes me feel better. Thank you Arin.” I grumble. “Do you mind if I go to your bedroom? Just to calm my nerves?” I ask.  
“Danny, my home is your home. Of course you can.” Arin says.  
I go into the bedroom, close the door, and sit on Arin and Suzy’s bed, thinking about how I will never be with him, but excited to meet him and see his gorgeous face in person. I feel stupid, because I have never met him but I have fantasies about being his, him being mine…I feel ridiculous.  
“Suzy, can you help me with setting the table?” I hear Arin yell. 

I go into my fantasyland, imagining him in my arms, my lips touching his. Looking deeply into his dark brown eyes. Then he rolls on top of me, grinding his muscular, chiseled body against mine, I whimper softly in his ear as he tells me how naughty I’ve been and how I need to be punished. 

I come out of my fantasy for a minute and check the time. 6 p.m. Mark won’t get here until 6:30; more than enough time. I stroke my hardening cock through my jeans moaning softly and I go back to my fantasy.

He’s on top of me, bouncing his sweet ass on my hard cock, moaning, loving every minute of it, yelling my name at the top of his lungs, me lying there running my hands up and down his well defined frame, watching his strong muscles flex as he moves, and stroking his throbbing cock every once in a while. 

I stop rubbing my cock through my jeans and I take off my plaid shirt and unzip my jeans, pull them down a little, and take out my hardening cock and start stroking it.

His face meets mine and he kisses, bites, and licks all over my neck as he rides my cock harder and faster, making me moan his name out louder and louder. I hold his hips stationary and start thrusting my cock into him hard, and hitting him in just the right spot, making him bellow in deep pleasure.  
“Mmmm baby do you like it when I fuck you hard?” I ask.  
“Ahhhhh, Ohhhhhh, Mmmmmmm.” He moans out.  
“Hm? What was that Mark?” I spank his ass and spread them apart to make me go deeper in him. He groans deeply, losing his breath and I start rubbing his cock.  
“Ah, fuck yeah baby! Fuck me harder!”

I start pumping my dick faster and harder, my breathing becoming short and shallow, pre-cum seeps out warning me I’m about to cum, and trying to keep my moaning down so Arin and Suzy won’t hear.

“Oh god, Baby I’m gonna cum!” I yell loudly. Mark rides me harder as I let the feeling of intensity almost take over my entire body. Mark stops riding me.

I stop stroking my cock whenever Mark stops riding me in my fantasy.

“How badly does Danny want to cum, huh?”

“Oh god so badly baby.” I say in real life.

“Mmmm, yeah baby?” He starts riding me slowly, every movement he makes so tantalizing.

“Fuck, Mark, make me cum, please!” I say out loud.

“God do I love it when you beg.” He kisses me deeply, and starts riding me faster than before. 

“Fuck baby that feels so good!”

“I’m going to make you cum so hard baby, SO hard!” He starts riding me faster and harder than ever before, and I stroke his cock harder, faster, his breathing becomes heavier and I start to feel him pulsate around my cock, making my moaning louder.  
“Ah fuck baby! I’m cumming!” I yell out loud.  
“Mmmm me too baby, me too!” His tight hole clenches around my throbbing cock as I close my eyes and let pleasure take over me as I feel warm liquid hit my stomach and my chest. I cum hard and fill him to the brim.

I feel the warm liquid land on my chest as I cum, my moaning soft, but my breathing heavy. I calm down my breathing, and clean up my mess. I zip up my jeans and pull my shirt back on and lie on their bed for a few more minutes. I fall asleep, then shortly after I wake up to Arin’s face. I jump out of my skin.  
“Oh my Jesus fucking Christ, you scared the hell out of me!” I yell out loud. He laughs out loud.  
“Buddy, I just wanted to let you know that Mark is going to be here shortly, so I’d say be awake for that.” I shake my head trying to wake my senses up.  
“Okay, thanks Arin!” I said with nervousness.  
“Danny. Don’t be nervous. He’s one of the most laid back people you will ever meet. You’ll be fine!”  
“I hope so Arin. I really hope so.”

 

**Mark’s POV**

It’s 5:45. I get out of the shower; longer shower than usual to take care of…things. It’s my first time meeting Arin, Suzy and…Danny. Oh Danny. I can’t even think of him without feeling butterflies in my stomach. I’m nervous and excited to meet all of them, but especially nervous and excited to meet Danny. I heard his voice before I even saw pictures of him. His voice is so soothing, and sexy. It has put me to sleep before, I’ll admit. But when I saw pictures of him for the first time, I thought, and still think he is the sexiest man ever. I think about what it’d be like to cuddle with him, kiss him, make love to him…

I go to check my phone and I realize I have to change my background before I leave. It might be a picture of Danny as my background. Okay fine it is. I’ve never had such a strong attraction to a man before. I mean, I have come to terms with my bisexuality, but I never experienced such a strong attraction to the same sex. I find myself thinking about him a lot, and I feel so weird because I haven’t met him or anything. I mean he’s out about being pansexual. Me on the other hand…I’m not out to anyone; except Bob and Wade. They also know I have a thing for Danny. Obviously they’re accepting of it. It was very difficult for me to come out to them. I was panicking for weeks on end, but I’m glad I told them.

I get a Facebook message from Danny saying, “Can’t wait to finally meet you tonight!” I message him back saying, “Ditto!” with a smiley face. I take my phone with me and walk out of the bathroom. I go to my bedroom and lie down on my bed. I look at the picture of Danny on my phone. God, he is so beautiful. It’s a picture of him with his hair all messed up, in his bed. Shirtless. I sigh. He would never go for someone like me anyway. I’m such an emotional wreck because of things that have happened in my past. I have depression, anxiety, panic attacks, and now I’m starting to wake up with deep scratches on my body because of my night terrors. My life is just one big cluster fuck, and he wouldn’t go for someone so emotionally unstable. Oh. Great. Speak of the devil; I feel a panic attack coming on right now. I close my eyes and inhale through my nose and exhale through my mouth slowly and steadily. I look at the time. 6:00. I should probably go…I put on my lucky flannel, boxers, and a pair of jeans. I go back to my bed and lie down, and look at the background on my phone again. I wish I could tell him how I feel and he not be freaked out. With my phone in my left hand, I take it and slide it down my chest and stomach, whining a little, pretending Danny is on top of me. Wow I am pathetic. There are times that I so badly that I want to kiss him and feel him close to me. I look at the time, and realize I should get going. I quickly grab my Old Spice body spray and spray maybe a little too much on, but in a way I want Danny to notice. 

I get into my car then get to their apartment and buzz them. 

**Danny’s POV**

“Oh Danny, lover boy is here.” Arin says tauntingly.  
“Oh shut up Arin.” I say as I sit down at the table with a glass of water. I shift in my seat, getting nervous. Suzy places her hands on my shoulders.  
“Danny, it’s okay. Just go downstairs and greet him. Break the ice.” Suzy says.  
“Yeah Dan. Just go down there and say hey and lead him to the apartment.” Arin says, siding with Suzy.  
“Or you know, we could be good hosts and greet him together.” I say, hoping they’ll go for it.  
“Eh. Why not?” Arin says. We head downstairs, and my heart is racing like crazy. We get to the door. I breathe in and breathe out. Arin opens the door. There he is in the flesh. He is so much more fucking gorgeous in person than I ever imagined. I am not ready for this. My eyes, brain, genitals are not ready to process this. He hugs Suzy and Arin, and then I trip over myself, and fall on top of Mark. Arin and Suzy laugh out loud. I prop myself up on my hands, which are on either side of Mark’s head. That’s when I realize his scent. Oh my god. Old Spice. I love the smell of Old Spice; to the point where if it is mixed with the right body chemistry, it will arouse me. In this case it is mixed with the perfect body chemistry. Fuck.  
“I’m so sorry Mark! Oh my god. I’m such a fucking idiot!” I moan softly trying to shrug it off as a random sound, taking a whiff of him again. I hope he didn’t hear that...he looks into my eyes. I look into his. He breaks eye contact.  
“No! No, Danny it’s fine, it’s fine! You tripped and fell on me. You’re not an idiot. It’s no big deal!” He says chuckling. I prop myself up, still on top of him, not realizing right away I’m sitting right on his junk. I….I think I’m feeling a boner….I could be totally wrong though. I totally am. I just wish there was one. I get off of him, grab his hand and help him up.  
“So much for a good first impression. Are you sure you’re okay Mark? I didn’t hurt you, did I?” I ask.  
“No! You’re totally good! Danny you tripped and fell. It happens. No big deal, don’t be so hard on yourself.” Mark says. We look down and realize we’re still holding hands.  
“Oh, Um. Sorry.” I say and I let go of his hand. He laughs awkwardly and reaches behind his neck. God I am fucking this up royally tonight. I feel like crying this is going so horribly. I probably have already freaked him out. I’m getting really hot.  
“Oh hey! You guys are both wearing plaid! How coincidental!” Suzy points out. We both realize it and our faces match our shirts; red.  
“Well we should probably get back upstairs, dinner is almost ready.” Arin speaks up.  
“Alright, sounds good!” Mark says, and they start heading down the hall. Suzy stays back and looks at me.  
“Danny, you look like you’re about to cry, are you okay?” She asks quietly and grabs my arm.  
“I…I don’t know.” I look down and notice she has hair ties around her wrist. “Can I borrow one? I feel really warm; like I’m going to pass out.”  
“Sure you can. Do you need to sit down for a minute? I’ll sit with you. I’ll text Arin and let him know what’s up.” I put my hair up and cool myself off.  
“Yes please.” I slide my back down a wall and breathe deeply.  
“You seem pretty smitten for him. What started all of this?” Suzy asks.  
“I heard his voice and saw his face on YouTube. Fell for him right then and there. And now I fell ON him, and I fucked everything up.”  
“Dan. Mark is a sweet guy he isn’t going to just say ‘Well fuck this friendship’ over you falling on him. Calm down sweetheart, things will be okay. Let’s just go upstairs and pretend nothing happened, okay?”  
“Okay.” I breathe in, and breathe out steadily, and start walking to the apartment.

**Mark’s POV**

Arin and I get up to the apartment and sit on the couch in the living room. I notice Danny and Suzy aren’t following. I hope nothing is wrong with Dan; I hope he’s okay.  
“Ah. Suzy texted me and said she’s going to stay back and talk to Danny for a minute. So, they’ll be up soon. So Mark, it’s awesome to meet you finally!!! What are you doing on your channel right now?” I hope he isn’t talking to Suzy about how I got semi hard when I heard him moan and felt his weight against me. Oh god this night is going to be harder than I thought; both literally and figuratively.  
“…Mark? You okay?” I come out of my thought process.  
“Oh! I’m sorry Arin my mind has been all over the place all day with thinking of ideas for the channel, and editing, and all that jazz. I’m sorry could you repeat your question?”  
“Hey it’s alright, I know how it is man. I was just wondering what you were doing for your channel.”  
“Oh! Well I’ve been trying to find some new games, but I can’t seem to find any that I think would be interesting enough for fans. So, I’m just hunting for games.” I say.  
“Well if you ever need help or ideas you can always come to Dan and me.” I couldn’t stop thinking about Danny and how when he was on top of me I wanted so badly to kiss him. God I need help. But it felt so good to feel his weight on me for five seconds. Mmmmm. Okay Mark. Focus on the conversation.  
“I will remember that for next time, thanks Arin.” I smile at him and he smiles back.  
“No problem, Mark.” I hear the door open and I see Suzy come through the door and Danny following. I look at him. His hair is pulled back, and when he looks down a few curls come loose and fall in his face. I feel like I might be reduced to a puddle. Fuck he is gorgeous. I try to make it not so obvious that I’m looking at him, so I wait until no one is looking at me and I steal glances at him. I look at him, and he looks back. I quickly look away. He looks down and I notice him smiling and…blushing? Eh. It could be all in my head. You only see what you want to see, right?  
“Dinner is ready, we should go to the table.” Danny says to me. His voice makes me melt. I get up and walk over to the table and sit down. Suzy passes me a plate.  
“You guys made chicken and dumplings? Awesome!” I exclaim.  
“Danny suggested it, knew it was your favorite, and he did most of the cooking also.” Suzy says and smirks at Dan. Danny rolls his eyes and chuckles.  
“Oh! Well thanks Danny, I appreciate it!” My heart goes pitter-patter when I hear that he cooked for me…er…us.  
“You’re welcome, Mark.” He says with glee and smiles. His curls in his face makes me want to push them out of the way, look into his eyes and kiss him with every fiber of my being. I take a bite of food. I’m astonished at how good it is.  
“This…this is better than Cracker Barrel. Better than my mom’s chicken and dumplings. Please don’t tell her I said that!” I laugh softly. “This is really fucking good!”  
“Thanks Mark! I could give you the recipe if you’d like.” Danny suggests.  
“Or maybe you could show me how to do it sometime?” I ask. He has a surprised look on his face. I hope that wasn’t going over any line.  
“Well sure why not!” Danny says excitedly.  
“Danny overdid himself and made dessert too. Apparently he really wanted this to be special. Meeting you for the first time and all.” Danny nudges Arin and glares at him. I just can’t stop looking at Danny. He’s so handsome.  
“What did you make for dessert?” I ask.  
“It’s a Jewish thing, you may have never heard of it. Or maybe you have, you are a pretty well versed guy. It’s kugel.” Danny says.  
“What’s in it? I’ve heard of it but I forget what’s in it.” I say scratching my head and furrowing my brow.  
“If I tell you, you probably won’t eat it. It sounds odd combined together, but it really is good. Trust me Markimoo.” He says with a chuckle. He…he called me Markimoo. I try to calm myself. My heart is going at 100 miles per hour just by him calling me Markimoo. He passes me the potatoes and we touch hands again. I keep zoning out. I may be here but my brain is in fantasyland where Danny and I can actually be together. 

After dinner, Danny gets out the dessert. It looks pretty good, but I’m suspicious as to how it tastes.  
“So Mark. You’ve told us a lot about yourself already. I’m curious. What’s your relationship status?” Arin asks, then smirks.  
“Arin!” both Suzy and Danny say in unison through gritted teeth. I giggle a little when they do that.  
“What?! I can’t ask if Mark has a girlfriend or not?” Arin says smirking. I have no idea what’s going on right now.  
“No I’m not in a relationship right now. Single as a pringle.”  
“Do you have an interest in anybody at the current moment?” Arin asks. I think about how I should answer that.  
“Um…yeah I guess you could say that. I don’t know them that well yet. I’d have to get to know them more to see if I would like to pursue of course.” Arin and Suzy look at each other and smile. I look at Danny, smile and blush when I notice he’s looking back. He quickly looks back down and turns a beet red.  
“Yeah I totally understand that.” Suzy says.  
“Um, so who wants kugel?” Danny asks, his face still flushed.

**Danny’s POV**

“It was nice meeting you Mark! We hope to see more of you!” Suzy says happily.  
“Yeah, please don’t be a stranger!” Arin says.  
“Thanks for having me over you guys, I really appreciate it. Dan, you make some beastly chicken and dumplings. That was delicious. The kugel was amazing too. You’re a good cook. I should have you be my own.” Mark says. I blush when he says that.  
“Well thanks Mark, I appreciate that.”  
“Um. Dan? Do you mind if you lead me out of the building? Too many turns for me to remember, uh…yeah.” He laughs softly.  
“Yeah of course I’ll help you out.” I say genuinely. We walk out of the apartment and I lead him to the door to exit the building. We get to the door, and I’m expecting him to say bye and leave, but he doesn’t. There is an awkward silence and we look at each other and laugh.  
“So, Danny.” Mark says in his deep, sexy radio voice.  
“So, Mark.” We both start giggling.  
“You didn’t seem too vocal at dinner. Is everything alright?” He asks. So caring he is. He doesn’t even know me and he’s just so caring and genuine.  
“Yeah. Everything is totally fine.” Except for the fact that I really want to jump your bones right now…but I keep that to myself.  
“You sure?” He rests his hand on my arm. I nod my head and grin.  
“Yeah! Everything is fine Mark. I promise you. My mind was just elsewhere tonight, that’s all.” I say with sincerity.  
“Okay. Yeah, my mind was elsewhere too…with the channel that is.”  
“Yeah I know how busy of a man you are, Mark.”  
“But, I’m not too busy to hang out with you. If…if you want to that is.” He says.  
“Well, yeah, you can come hang out with me and Arin anytime.” I say with a smile.  
“No, no. I mean…just you and me. I mean only if you want! I don’t mean to come off as creepy. I just want to get to know you more since you didn’t talk much.” Mark says, sounding hesitant.  
“I’d like to hang out with you Mark.” I smile at him. He gets his phone out.  
“Can I text you and let you know when I’m available?” Mark asks.  
“Yeah, sure!” We swap numbers. I really can’t get over how gorgeous he is.  
“Well I should get going. I am swamped with videos to edit. I will talk to you later?”  
“I will talk to you later Mark. Have a good night.” We hug each other, and I get a whiff of his old spice one last time before he walks out the door. When he walks out, I sneak a peek at his ass and his taut muscles. Jesus Christ, is he fine. Why do I do this to myself? It’s so frustrating that I can’t have him that I just want to rage. GAH. I head back upstairs. I don’t even make it back to the apartment and I get a text from Mark already.  
“Are you available on Friday to hang out?” he texts. I text back saying I am, and he and I make plans to hang out on Friday to play video games and just hang out. I enter the apartment.  
“That took a while. What was going on?” Suzy asks.  
“Mark and I made plans to hang out on Friday. No big deal.” I say.  
“Awww! That’s awesome! Our little Danny is making friends!” Suzy says sarcastically, pats my head and giggles.  
“Where’s Arin?”  
“He decided to go to bed. He’s wiped out.”  
“Oh. Well maybe I should go too, I’m really exhausted.” I say, yawning.  
“Okay Dan! We will see you tomorrow then?” Suzy asks excitedly.  
“Of course! Good night!”  
“Goodnight!” I hug her and walk out the door to my car, and drive home.

**Mark’s POV**

I get home feeling conflicted. Should I have asked if we can spend time together alone? Was that creepy of me to ask? He did accept…the fact that he cooked my favorite meal, and he looked at me a few times…oh who am I kidding? I will forever be this sad, lonely pathetic human being who will have a crush on someone who will never want to be with me. I’m so emotionally fucked up even I can’t figure myself out. How do I expect anyone else to figure me out? 

Maybe I’m not as comfortable in my own skin as I thought. I thought I was confident in my bisexuality. Nope. I found out tonight that I’m a big pussy who’s afraid to get close to a tall, cute, sexy, funny, smart, quirky, beautiful Jewish man. I want to be around him. But I don’t. I’m scared I’ll freak him out. Maybe I should cancel. I walk over to my phone and begin to unlock it, when I look at my background of Danny and smile. He is such a beautiful human being. How can I cancel on someone as fucking hot as him? I decide to text him.  
“Hey there! I hope I didn’t freak you out by asking to hang out just the both of us. I just think you’re a cool guy and I want to get to know you more is all.” I take off my clothes and change into just pajama pants and crawl into bed. I lie on my stomach, put my phone on the charger, looking at it. God, do I wish Danny could give me a massage. My back is killing me. My head is pounding. I can’t get him off my mind. My phone buzzes.  
“Mark, it’s okay! I’m not freaked out at all I’m pretty pumped to hang out with you on Friday! I’m so sorry for falling on you tonight. That was extremely embarrassing for you and me! I feel like shit for that. I’m really sorry!” the text says. I text him back.  
“Dan I told you it’s alright. No big deal. People get clumsy, I totally understand seeing as I’m a huge klutz myself. You’re fine.” I start thinking about that again, how he fell on me and we looked into each other’s eyes. Then I think about how I got a little hard when he put all of his weight on my dick. I have a strong feeling he felt it, but I hope he didn’t. But it felt so good even if it was for just five seconds. Still on my stomach, I feel all of my weight on my dick and I start getting hard thinking about him riding me. I start rolling my hips against my bed and I bite my lower lip groaning. Dan texts me back. I read the message. “Am I fine?”  
“Ah fuck Danny. Yes you are very fine.” I moan out loud. I put my phone on my nightstand and pull off my pajama pants. I continue grinding my hips and I cry out Danny’s name. I roll over on my back and I run my hands down my chest and stomach imagining Danny all over me. I slowly take my cock in my hand and start stroking it. I breathe heavily, my cheeks flushing, back arched. I start stroking faster, moaning and crying out in pleasure fantasizing about Dan sucking my cock.  
“Mmmmmm Danny, more!” I groan out loud. I rub my cock faster, moaning louder. I feel my orgasm creeping up on me. My muscles start contracting; I feel warmth in my lower abdomen getting warmer. I stroke faster and feel my muscles tensing up. My breathing quickens and my moaning becomes more vocal. My whole body tenses up.  
“Ah fuck. I’m cumming Danny!” I yell out shakily and my cum shoots out onto my stomach and chest. I catch my breath and lie there for a second relaxing. I get Kleenex to wipe up my mess. I get my phone, look at my wallpaper again.  
“God do I wish you were here to cuddle with.” I put my phone back on my nightstand and bury my face into my pillow. It makes me so sad and frustrated that we will never be together. I just want to cuddle with him. Kiss him. Love him. But it won’t ever happen because I will never get the guts to tell him how I feel. I’m afraid he will think differently of me. I don’t want to screw up what could be a good friendship. I won’t fuck anything up. I just…have to act as straight as possible. That shouldn’t be too difficult. Right?

I get under the covers, grab my body pillow, wrap my arms around it and fall asleep. 

**Danny’s POV**

It’s about 3 in the afternoon. I’m lying on the couch meditating and my phone buzzes in my ear and startles me. It’s Mark. The text makes it sound like he’s in a panic, so I call him right away. He picks up and I think I hear him crying and he is breathing heavily.  
“Mark! Are you okay?! What’s wrong?”  
“I didn’t know who else to call, I’m sorry I know we just met, but I didn’t know who else to call, please don’t be freaked out!”  
“Mark, I’m not freaked out, what’s going on?” I’m so concerned and worried about him. My heart races faster and my stomach churns out of nerves.  
“I don’t even know, I woke up from a nap and I felt panicky, and my heart is racing at 100 miles per hour, and I’m out of breath. I don’t know what to do. Could…could you come over?”  
“Yes! Of course I will! I will be there as soon as possible! Just text me your address, okay?”  
“Okay. The door will be unlocked, so you can come right in. Thank you Danny.” He says in a scared voice.  
“Hey. This is what friends are for, right? I’ll be there in a few, Mark. Please be safe in the meantime.”  
“I will.” I hang up with him and he texts me his address, and I bolt for the door, lock it, and run to my car. I get in and start the engine. I look down at myself and realize I’m still in my T-shirt and pajama pants. Oh well, clothes aren’t important. 

Ten minutes later I arrive at his place. Luckily someone is there coming out of the building as I go in. I race down the hall and find his apartment. I knock on the door and open it.  
“Mark? It’s Danny. Where are you?”  
“In here.” I look in each room, and find him in his bedroom, sitting on his bed in the fetal position. I walk up to him. His face is buried in his knees. I touch his arm and he looks up. His face all blotchy, covered in tears. The brooding expression in his dark eyes worries me to no end.  
“Oh Mark.” I say with my lip quivering. He put his arms out for a hug and I hold him close.  
“I’m so sorry Dan. I didn’t know whom else to call. You were the first one to come to mind.” He says, his voice quivering.  
“Shhhh. Mark, don’t be sorry for calling out for help. Never be sorry for that.” I rub his back as we sit in silence hugging each other. His back is so taut. His shoulders so broad; his strong arms wrapped around me. Oh my god Dan. Quit drooling over him for five minutes and just be a friend! He lets go of me and rubs his eyes. I wipe a tear away from his cheek.  
“I’m so sorry you had to see this Dan.” I lightly smack his arm.  
“What did I say about apologizing Markimoo? I know how panic attacks can be. I’ve had plenty of them in the past. You can’t control that shit. They just come whenever they find it convenient. Do you want some water? Tea? A cold towel?”  
“All of the above if possible, please.” He smiles weakly, and I get up from the bed.  
“Coming right up. Do you want to come out to the living room so you’re not lonely in here?” I ask. He looks at me with those beautiful brown almond eyes.  
“I would but I’m feeling really light headed, and I don’t think I’ll be able to walk out there.” I frown a bit. He looks so weak. It must be difficult to show this side of him to me, seeing as we know next to nothing about each other.  
“I can help you out.” I reach my hand out. He smiles at me and holds my hand and we walk out of the bedroom.  
“Oh shit!” He exclaims as he starts to collapse, but I get a hold of him by wrapping my other arm around him. He holds onto my hand tightly. We get to the couch and he sits down slowly.  
“Are you okay enough so I can go to the kitchen and make you tea?”  
“I’ll be okay. The kitchen is right behind me Dan, I think I’ll be alright.” He says and we both chuckle.  
“Well I’d rather be too careful than not careful enough.” I place my hand on his knee.  
“I’ll make you tea.” I go to his kitchen and pour a glass of ice-cold water, and wet a cloth, making sure it’s really cold. I come up behind him while he’s sitting on the couch and place the glass of water on the end table, and place the cloth on his neck.  
“Fuck that’s cold!” He laughs out loud. I giggle softly.  
“Sorry Mark!” I press the cloth into his neck. He groans. I run my hand up and down his back. I squeeze his shoulders.  
“You wouldn’t mind if I rub them do you?” I ask.  
“No, not at all. My shoulders and back have been killing me anyway. Go ahead.” I massage his shoulders and hear him groan. I’m trying to not let my mind wander to certain places while hearing him moan and groan sexily, especially since I am wearing pajama pants and no boxers underneath. I stop and run my hands halfway down his back and back up.  
“I’ll make you your tea now.” I say.  
“Mmmmm. But this feels so gooood. Please keep going.” He responds. Oh god, please don’t get an erection, Dan. Think of tea.  
“I will when I get done making your tea. How about that?”  
“Ughhhhh. Fiiiiiiiine.” He says. I giggle as I go to open his pantry.  
“Holy shit, you have a lot of tea. What do you want?”  
“Cinnamon spice please.” I get a tea bag out and put some water in the teakettle.

**Mark’s POV**

I want his hands all over me again. His hands all over my back were so relaxing, calming, and arousing. Probably a good thing he stopped when he did, because I was starting to get the biggest boner.  
“Mark? Do you mind if I ask you something?” Dan asks, standing in the kitchen.  
“No I don’t mind. Ask away.”  
“When did you start having panic attacks?” He asks. I sigh heavily.  
“Um. I started having them after a really bad relationship a couple of years ago. I went to a doctor and she diagnosed me with…” I hesitate. Will this turn him off to being friends with me?  
“With what, Mark?” Danny asks.  
“With anxiety, depression and panic attacks. And um…recently…” I start tearing up again and it is obvious in my voice. I sniff a little. The silence fills the room.  
“Mark? Are you okay?” I hear him pouring tea. He comes into the living room with a mug in each hand and sits on the chair next to me.  
“I just don’t want to tell you anything that’s going to scare you off.” I say.  
“Mark. I’m sitting here having tea with you. If I was scared off, I’d be long gone by now. Talk to me, tell me anything that’s on your mind that you feel comfortable telling me.” Oh. If only I could pour my heart and soul out to you, Danny. THAT would scare you off for sure.  
“Recently though, I think I’m starting to develop night terrors. I’ll wake up sweating, my breathing will be erratic, sometimes I’ll be crying, and I’ll also feel scared for my life. I even wake up with scratches on my body.”  
“I’m sorry Mark.” He reaches out and touches my arm. “Have you thought of seeing someone about everything?” I take a drink of my tea.  
“Ever since my dad died…I just can’t. I feel if they didn’t save him, who is to say they’ll save me?” Tears start tolling down my cheeks and I wipe them away.  
“Well, just know that if you ever need anyone I’m here. Okay?”  
“Thank you. I really appreciate you coming over and helping me out. I really needed it. You were the first person I thought of because your voice alone is very calming, and I thought it would help when I was on the phone with you.” I admit. He has a big smile on his face.  
“Did it help? Even a teeny bit?” Dan asks.  
“It helped more than I thought it would. What kind of tea did you make yourself?”  
“Vanilla jasmine. Sounded good to me, so I thought I’d try it. Smells really nice too.”  
“You know that tea is known to be a sensual tea, right?” I feel my body getting hot.  
“Oh. Really now? Oh my. Um…” I notice him blushing.  
“Sorry, did I make things awkward?” I ask.  
“Well, you know cinnamon is an aphrodisiac. So I guess we’re both feeling sensual today.” Right after he says that I bust out laughing. Danny covers his face.  
“Oh fuck, did I just REALLY say that?!” He starts cackling with me. After about 30 seconds we calm down.  
“Do you want to stay here and watch Netflix and play video games with me all evening? We can just stay where we are and be blanket burritos.” I suggest.  
“I would, but I have to get ready to meet Arin for a grumps session.” His phone buzzes and he reads the text message.  
“Well then! I guess I can stay! Arin said Suzy isn’t doing so well today, so we will record another day. Blanket burritos it is!!!” He grabs the blanket on the back of the chair and wraps it around himself. I come up and pull it over his head.  
“MAAAAAARRRRRRRK!!!!! I CAN’T SEEEEEE!” I run to the kitchen, and I hear him run after me with the blanket still over his head. He comes up behind me, wraps his arms around my torso and picks me up.  
“GAHHH THAT TICKLES DANNY!” I scream like a girl, laughing loudly. He starts tickling my sides and I start flailing all over the place.  
“NOOOO! DANNY STOP!” I’m laughing so hard I’m not even making any noise anymore.  
“Stop what?!” He continues tickling my sides.  
“Danny I will piss myself I swear!” He stops tickling me and I turn to face him and slap his shoulder.  
“Naughty.” I say. He places his hands on the counter on either side of me and looks at me menacingly with those big brown eyes. I want to kiss him so badly. But I hold back. He smiles.  
“Let’s go watch Netflix and be blanket burritos.” He walks back over to the living room and sits down. I soon follow.  
“I’m in a Potter mood.” I say, searching for the first Harry Potter.  
“Yay!” I hear Danny yell. The movie begins and I get a text. It’s from Dan saying hi.  
“Seriously, Dan?” I chuckle and poke him.  
“Seriously, Mark.” He runs his fingers through his hair and it stands right up. I chuckle and pat his hair down.  
“Your hair’s soft. I hope that’s not weird to say.” I laugh nervously.  
“No, not weird at all!” He combs his fingers through his hair again. I wish it were my hand. His hair becomes a mess again, so I pat it down again.  
“Your hair I swear, Dan!” I giggle and he looks at me.  
“There is no taming the Judaism, Mark. No taming it. You might as well leave it how it is. My hair has a mind of its own.”  
“I feel ya there, Dan. I feel ya there.” I finish my tea and I notice Dan has too. I notice him putting his hair up again, and I just want to scream out of giddiness.  
“Do you want more?” I ask holding both mugs, looking at his beautiful brown eyes again. So many times today I’ve wanted to kiss him.  
“No I’m okay right now. Do you want some more?” Dan asks.  
“Well I was just going to make popcorn and then get more tea. Do you want some of both?”  
“Depends, microwave or stovetop?” Danny raises an eyebrow.  
“Stovetop of course. What kind of a person do you think I am, Dan? A communist?” He laughs out loud.  
“Hey, as long as you’re not a Nazi!” I shake my head and giggle.  
“You are a sick man, Dan. Sick man.” I go to the kitchen and get stuff out to make popcorn. I open the cupboard and see the big bowl is on the top shelf. Fuck. I jump up and literally climb the shelves to get to it.

**Danny’s POV**

I’m sitting on the chair and I hear Mark struggling. I look over and get up from my seat.  
“Mark! What the ever loving hell are you doing?” He continues to try to reach the top shelf.  
“My tall as shit friends like to fuck with me.”  
“Mark, Mark. Stop! I’ll get it!” I walk over and stand behind him pretty close. “What were you trying to get? The big bowl?” He put his head down and sighs.  
“Yes.” I laugh at him and get it. I bite my bottom lip when I realize how close I am to pinning him against the counter. He turns around and faces me, us literally two inches away from our lips touching. The smell of Old Spice is intoxicating. I hold my breath. We look deeply into each other’s eyes, and at that moment I realize he has more than platonic feelings…this isn’t just a friendship anymore…  
“Um, I’ll just move for you…sorry.” He moves out of the way and we both silently catch our breaths from the intense moment that just took place.  
“Popcorn?” I ask. We move past the awkwardness of that and he nods and smiles.

I sit by him and watch movies and shows on Netflix with him and eat popcorn all night. We laugh, make jokes, flirt here and there, make looks at each other, playfully push each other over, throw popcorn, all that jazz.  
“Oh my. It’s almost two in the morning. I should probably get going. I have to shower and stuff, and go to sleep.” Mark’s face becomes heavy with sadness.  
“You can sleep here!” He says in a half joking tone.  
“That’s really sweet of you Mark! But I’d rather just be in my own bed.” I smile warmly. “But thank you for the offer.” I whisper in his ear. I hug him tightly.  
“Bye Dan. Thank you so much for today. I appreciate it. It was a lot of fun.”  
“Hey, it’s no problem! It was a lot of fun for me too!” He smiles and blushes. I start to head out the door.  
“Oh. Dan!” I hear.  
“Yes?”  
“Do…do you prefer Dan or Danny?” he asks. I smile when I hear him say Danny.  
“Coming from you Mark, I prefer Danny.” I smile from ear to ear and I see Mark turning red again.  
“Okay. I will see you later Danny. I’ll text you.”  
“Sounds good! Have a good night Mark! If you need me for anything, please call or text me, I will be there no matter what time it is. Okay?” He hugs me again  
“Okay. Thanks again Danny.” I hold him back.  
“You’re very welcome, Markimoo. You don’t mind that I call you that, do you?” My brows furrow.  
“If I didn’t like it I would tell you.” I giggle softly.  
“Okay Markimoo! I will talk to you later.” I chuckle and head to my car. I look back when I get to my car and he’s still there. I wave at him, and he waves back.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________  
**Danny's POV**

It’s been almost three months since I last hung out with Mark. I thought things were going really well. Whenever I text him he barely responds anymore. It started about a week after we hung out last.  
“Hey, what’s wrong, bud?” Arin asks.  
“Have you talked to Mark recently?” I ask, really concerned.  
“Yeah, I’ve been talking to him almost everyday, why?” The fact that he has been talking to Arin a whole bunch and not me really hurt.  
“Oh…” I say, sitting down on the couch, getting ready to record.  
“Dan, what’s wrong? I thought you and Mark were getting along okay.” I cradle my head in my hands, trying not to cry.  
“He barely texts me anymore, and we haven’t hung out in months. Whenever I try and make plans with him, he either ignores the message by not responding or changing the subject, says he’s busy, or we will make plans but he cancels at the last minute. I don’t know what’s going on with him.” I bury my face in my knees. I really miss him. I miss his hugs.  
“Have you tried calling him? Maybe he will answer his phone for you. I know you guys have become really good friends. You guys support each other like nobody’s business. I don’t know what’s going on. Do you want me to ask him?”  
“No, you don’t have to. It will be okay. I’ll figure it out.”

After a recording which helped get my mind off of things for a while, I call Mark, and he picks up.  
“Hey.” He says.  
“Hey! I was wondering if you wanted to hang out today! I…haven’t seen you for a while. I was wondering if you were okay.”  
“Why are you so obsessed with wanting to hang out? It’s like you have a crush on me or something, geez.”  
“I…what? Mark, I’m not obsessed I…I just haven’t seen you in a while. I just want to hang out with you. That’s all.” I choke up. I’ve never heard him so hostile. He’s being a complete asshole. This isn’t Mark.  
“Well I really don’t want to hang out with you anymore. You seem obsessive about hanging out and it’s like you have a gay crush on me. Move on, Danny. I’m not gay for you.” I start crying. “Oh please, cry to Arin or something. I’m really getting sick of you texting me, asking if we should hang out. Get the fucking hint Danny. I don’t want to hang out with you anymore. Don’t talk to me anymore.” He hangs up on me. I pull the phone away from my face and just stare at it, dumbfounded. Did that just happen? I leave the room stunned, heartbroken, mad, at him and myself.  
“Danny. You look white as a ghost. Sit down hon.” Suzy pulls a chair over and I sit down. I cover my face with my hands and I start crying.  
“Mark…Mark told me he didn’t want to hang out with me anymore. He said he didn’t want to talk to me anymore. What did I do wrong, Suzy?” Suzy frowns and hugs me.  
“Oh hon, I’m so sorry. I don’t…I don’t mean to make it sound like I’m blaming you, I’m just simply asking. Did you come off too strong to him? I know you think he’s cute…”  
“No! No, we were getting along really well, then he just distanced himself from me a week after the last time we hung out. I don’t know what happened.”  
“That doesn’t sound like Mark. There must be something seriously wrong if he’s acting like that.”  
“I don’t know what to do, Suzy.” I say sobbing.  
“Wait for him to come to you. He’s bound to come back around. You’re such a sweet guy. Just wait.” I hug Suzy, still crying a little.  
“Thanks Suzy.”

**Mark’s POV**

I hang up with Danny and I slam my phone down on my coffee table. I’m mad, sad and confused…I wrap a blanket around me, lie on the couch and curl up in the fetal position and start sobbing. How could I have been so cruel? So mean to him? Push him away when he has been nothing but helpful and gracious towards me? I’m such an asshole. I want to call him back, let him know how sorry I am, how I didn’t mean anything I said. I want to tell him I love him. I want him around me, but I don’t. I’m scared. There I said it. I’m scared to face my feelings. I’m scared he’ll reject me. I’m scared he doesn’t feel the same way. I can’t stand having these feelings, but I also love being around him. I miss him. But I don’t want to miss him. God my feelings are so conflicted right now, and I don’t know what to do. He floods my mind every minute of every day. I just want to stop thinking about him!!! I look at my phone. I start typing a message to him, telling him everything, but I decide to just delete the whole thing and go back to sleep, seeing as that is the only time I feel okay is when I’m unconscious. 

I wake up a few hours later. I was hoping everything that happened was just a dream. Nope. At least I felt somewhat okay for about five seconds. I lie there on the couch. I feel numb, and lonely. I check my phone; nothing from Danny. God I feel like such shit. I feel so lost without him. I can’t live like this anymore. I just can’t…

I go to the bathroom to get the razor blade in the medicine cabinet. I pick it up and stare at it. It’s so tempting. I look at the cut marks on my arms that  
I had created over the last three months. I can’t. I shouldn’t. But I want to. I drop the razor blade and fall to the floor wailing.  
“I DON’T WANT TO FEEL THIS ANYMORE!” I yell at the top of my lungs. I curl my body up on the bathroom floor. I just want to end it all. I can’t stand my life. I sit up and grab the razorblade. I’m about to put the blade to my wrist when the buzzing of my apartment startles me.  
“Who the fuck could that be?!” I exclaim out of frustration. Fuck, I can’t even kill myself in peace. I put the razorblade back in the medicine cabinet, slam it closed and I splash water on my face and look in the mirror. I look like absolute shit. At least my looks match how I feel. I hear the buzzer go off again. “I’m coming I’m coming.” I grumble to myself. I go to the door to the apartment building and see Danny standing there. I go into defensive mode again.  
“I thought I told you I didn’t want to see you anymore.” I say. I feel my eyes tearing up again, but I rub them to try and make it look like I wasn’t tearing up. I look at him. He looks like he hasn’t slept for weeks. God I feel like the scum of the earth right now.  
“I know, I know. I just want to come over and ask what I did wrong.” I go into my apartment. Danny follows and come in.  
“What part of ‘I don’t want to see you anymore’ don’t you understand?” I ask. He grabs my arm and I pull away. He gets just a long enough glance that he sees the cut marks.  
“Oh Mark…” He starts tearing up. “…Why?” He attempts to rub my back, but I quickly get away and walk angrily into the kitchen and he follows, and he grabs my shoulder, but I turn around and shove him into the kitchen counter and angrily walked to the other side of the room.  
“Don’t touch me. Don’t touch me! DON’T FUCKING TOUCH ME DANNY!!!”  
“Then tell me what the fuck I did wrong then! You have no idea how it fucking feels when you think you have a good friendship with someone, just to be thrown away like a piece of trash! You are so goddamn distant! You don’t text me, you have always dodged the question of hanging out when I bring it up, and you ignore my calls and Facebook messages. I’m not obsessed with you Mark! I’m just trying to reach out and be a good friend, but it doesn’t seem like you give a flying FUCK about me!!! So please tell me what I did wrong!” I start crying, grit my teeth, and then I get angry.  
“Okay! You want to know what you did wrong? You REALLY want to know? I’ll tell you! When you touch me, my stomach gets twisted into knots. When I look at you, my heart races at a million miles per hour. When you’re so close to me that I can smell you and feel your heat, my body quivers. When you hold my hand I can’t breathe. You hug me, I feel like time stands still.” I pause and look at him. “God. Just look at you. You’re sexy just standing there and you don’t even have to try.” Tears start streaming down my face. “I can’t stop thinking about you; you are on my mind constantly. These feelings make me so scared, distraught, nervous and confused. But the moment you enter the room my problems melt away. My nervousness turns to a calming breath of fresh air, my feelings of being distraught seem to compose themselves, my confusion all magically makes sense, and my fears all vanish and I’m happy. I am a WRECK without your company! But I had been distancing myself from you because I thought my feelings would go away, but they just grew stronger, and I got scared! I am so sorry I made you feel like I threw you away in the trash, but in reality it was the exact opposite! I held onto you. I kept you in my thoughts. But I didn’t know what to do with my feelings. So, there you go! I poured my heart out to you. You can go now, because I know nothing will ever happen and that I’m a big fucking freak in your eyes! I’m fucked up, and you will never want me. So I give up.” I’m a sobbing mess right now. I look at Danny and he’s crying. His hair is pulled back, and he looks down, wiping his nose and a tear from his cheek. A curl falls in his face.  
“…That fucking curl.” He gives me a look of confusion. “I really just want to push your curl out of your face, look deeply into your eyes, caress you, and kiss you with every fiber of my being, and with every bit of longing I have for you.” He walks up to me, tears in his face. He looks at me and grabs my hand.  
“Then do it.” He whispers. He slides his hand up my arm, but I pull away because I don’t want him to feel my scars.  
“I don’t want you to touch them. I look disgusting because of them.” He takes my arm and kisses it and holds my hand, looks into my eyes, and cups my face with his other hand.  
“I think you look beautiful.” Tears blur my vision and he wipes them away. I notice the curl still in his face; I brush it behind his ear with my hand. I look at him; he’s turning red, and I feel myself turning red as well. I caress his face and look passionately into his big brown eyes. Our noses touch. I close my eyes and I feel his lips brush against mine, making me quiver. Then I firmly press my lips against his. He kisses back deeply and affectionately. We end the kiss pretty quickly.  
“I’m sorry Mark, but this…this doesn’t feel right to me.” My heart breaks into a million pieces when I hear him say that.  
“I’m sorry. You can go if you want to. I’m sorry I wasted your time.” I look down, but he uses the crook of his finger and lifts my face to look at him.  
“It doesn’t feel right because I don’t believe you gave that kiss your all.” Our faces come close to one another, our noses brush against each other; we close our eyes and I pull his body close to mine so we can feel each other’s excitement beneath our zippers. We moan in each other’s mouths when our hips crash into each other.  
“Oh Danny.” I say in a breathy voice.  
“Mmm Mark.” 

**Danny’s POV**

I bite his bottom lip and he whimpers softly. I kiss him, running my fingers through his hair. I feel his tongue trying to slip in, so I open my mouth more and invite him in. He grabs tightly onto my hips, and I run my hands down his back, exploring him. I come up for air, moaning softly as I feel his teeth digging into the sensitive flesh of my neck. I start to creep my fingers up his shirt when he pushes my hands out from under.  
“I’m sorry, Mark. Was I going too far?” My eyes wander down his body to his throbbing member through his jeans. My heart races and I bite my lip. I look back up at his face and I see him blushing and looking down.  
“Oh god.” He covers his face, turning a fire engine red. “I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry. I’ll just like…” I interrupt him by pinning my hips tightly against his, grinding against his hardening cock, making him moan loudly, in turn making me moan as well.  
“Don’t be sorry. I like it.” I say biting my lip and sliding my hands into the back pockets of his jeans grabbing his tight ass.  
“You sick man.” He groans and blushes, and runs his hands over my chest.  
“Only for you Markimoo.” I bite his neck and he whimpers. I try creeping my hands under his shirt again but he stops me.  
“I…I don’t want you to feel there.” He says hesitantly.  
“Mark if you don’t want me to do something it’s totally fine.” I say.  
“It’s…not that I don’t want you to. But I don’t want you to.” I raise my eyebrow in confusion.  
“Okay, now you have confused me and my dick. What’s going on, hon?” He chuckles a little, and then his smile turns to a look of shame on his face, and tears start running down his cheeks.  
“Markimoo. What’s wrong, sweetie?”  
“Just, scars. All over. From my night terrors…and cutting. I just have them all over and I feel like an ugly monster that no one will want.” I frown. I kiss him lightly on the lips and feel up his shirt. Mark tries to stop me again.  
“Mark. Please trust me.” He looks at me, sighs heavily, and then nods slowly. I kiss his nose gently and I explore his torso underneath his shirt. I kiss his lips while doing so. As my fingers drag along his skin, I feel little indentations and raised tissue from healed cuts and scabs from fresh ones. We keep kissing, but I taste the saltiness from his tears and my own. I break the kiss and I pull his shirt off. I look at him. He closes his eyes tightly and tears roll down his cheeks. I get down on my knees and start kissing all over his stomach, appreciating his beautiful body for what it is, kissing every scar. I come up to his chest continuing to kiss all over. I hear him crying harder, but I continue kissing him to reassure him that I think he’s perfect the way he is. I come up to his face, and kiss his lips again. I look at him and wipe away his tears.  
“Don’t ever think you are an ugly monster no one wants. Because you are a beautiful man that I want.” Mark wraps his arms around my neck and buries his face in my chest and starts bawling. I kiss the top of his head and wrap my arms around him. I rest my cheek on top of his head and cry with him, holding him close to me. After a minute, he looks at me and smiles weakly.  
“I’m sorry for that. It’s just that today has been so wishy washy, and I’m so emotional, and things are hitting me so hard right now. In a good way though of course.” I cup the back of his head with my hand and kiss his forehead.  
“Don’t be sorry for being emotional. Especially with me Markimoo.” He smiles and kisses me on the lips.  
“Do…do you uh…do you want to…spend the night? I mean, not for that…or for that only if we both are okay with it. I mean…I’m sorry I even asked, just pretend I never said anything, I must have freaked you out, I’m really sor-“ I kiss him deeply, and scratch my nails down his back, making him moan through our kiss.  
“Mmmmm. I’d love to.” He smirks, bites his lip and kisses my neck, making me groan. He eagerly grabs my hand, and leads me down the hall to his bedroom. I grab his ass, he jumps and I giggle. He stops for a second, looks back at me and kisses me fervently, sliding his tongue into my mouth. He creeps his hand up my shirt. I dig my nails into his back, dragging them across his delicate skin and grab his ass tightly. He stops kissing me and looks at me.  
“What is it Markimoo?” He bites his lip seemingly unsure if he wants to say whatever it is he wants to say.  
“I…never mind. It will sound crazy. We don’t know each other too well, and it will just sound like I’m super clingy, and I am actually afraid to say it…” As he rambles on I figure out what it is he wants to say. It’s clear as day on his beautiful face. I just smile. “…I’m sorry I just-“ I put my fingers to his lips.  
“Mark. Mark.” He kisses my finger, then grabs my hand and kisses down my finger. I close my eyes. I feel him kiss my middle finger, flicking his tongue over it as he works his way up, then he gently sucks the tip, swirling his tongue around it. I moan loudly.  
“Ahhh, Mark! More! More please, baby.” 

**Mark’s POV**

“God, you have no idea how much and how long I’ve wanted to hear you say that.” I say and I kiss him deeply and pull his hair tie out. He gazes at me.  
“Mark, about what you were going to say. I think I know what you were going to say, and I have a response.”  
“You have a response before I even say it?”  
“I…” He looks down and holds my hands, then looks into my eyes. “I love you too. So much. I know it may be crazy, but-“  
“But nothing, because I love you. I don’t want anyone else but you, Danny baby.” He and I both smile and giggle.  
“Ditto, Markimoo.” I grab his hand and lead him to the bedroom. I lie down on the bed, but Danny stays standing gawking at me.  
“Danny get your sweet ass in here or I swear to god I will explode.” He bites his lip trying to cover up his moan.  
“Mmmmm and would I love for you to explode all over me too.” I blush and burst into laughter.  
“Mmmmm. My, my Danny baby. You’ve put a lot of thought into this, haven’t you?” He chuckles in response.  
“A lot of fantasies I have had about you, yes, I’ll admit.” I look at him standing there. I moan just by the sight of him. He crawls on top of me and unbuttons and unzips my pants with his teeth, and kisses up the length of my cock through my boxers, and I twitch and whimper when he kisses the tip. He kisses up my body, licks my neck and kisses me deeply.  
“I…I’ve never been with a guy like this before, Danny, I have to tell you.” He tenderly touches my lips with his.  
“I haven’t either, Markimoo. But I want to with you.” I kiss him and bite his lip, tugging it, and unbutton and unzip his jeans. He gets off of me and yanks my pants off and he takes off his and I pull off his shirt. He gets back on top and sits on me. I groan loudly.  
“Oh Danny, fuck. This is like when we first met. But I like this time better.” I say while running my hands up over his chest and stomach.  
“Mmmmm, what makes this time so much better?” He circles his finger around my left nipple and I whimper.  
“Ohhh baby. Maybe the fact that there’s less clothing involved and…” I look at his throbbing cock through his boxers, almost peeking out and I bite my lower lip. He bends down, his face close to mine, and kisses me roughly.  
“Bigger than you expected Markimoo?” He scratches down my chest and I moan softly. He begins to grind against me and I cry out in immense pleasure. I run my fingers through his hair and pull it hard and he screams out my name. I slide my hands down his back, then down his boxers and grab his ass, pushing him to grind against me harder. I then run my finger over his entrance, just teasing.  
“Oh my god Mark, fuck! Mmmm!!!” His excitement grows more as I do it. I bite my lip; feeling satisfied that I’m pleasing him.  
“Danny?” I say between my own heavy breathing and whimpering.  
“Mmmm, Oh, goddamn. Yes, babe?” he said, me still teasing his hole. I stop teasing and I look at him. I pull his boxers down and start rubbing his huge cock.  
“Let me suck your dick, Danny baby.” He immediately gets off me, pulls off both our boxers, and pulls me on him, him gazing at my rock hard member.  
“Mmmmm god baby looking at your cock is making me want to suck yours too.” He gropes the area around my cock, making my breathing heavier.  
“Mmmmmm. Clean shaven and everything. Fuck baby.” He rubs my cock and my breathing quickens.  
“I knew you’d like that, baby. I want to suck you off so badly right now.” He spanks my ass and I whimper. I kiss Danny’s lips, and then kiss down his neck, licking and biting his earlobe, whispering dirty things in his ear, making him moan and beg for me. I get to his chest and lick his nipples, making him groan loudly, down his stomach, then to the sweet, sensitive flesh to the right of his cock.  
“I see you’re clean shaven too. Mmmmmm.” We both titter softly and I continue tickling just the base of his cock with my tongue and lips.  
“Oh, Mark. Oh god, please. Please don’t tease.” I bring my face up to his, and he kisses me deeply.  
“Mmmm. Does Danny baby want to feel Master’s B to Blow skills?” I say while circling my index finger around the tip of his cock. He moans so loudly in response. He starts grinding against me, making me whimper softly. His breathing and panting is so heavy, and his moaning sounds like he’s on the brink of crying it seems to feel so good to him.  
“Ahhh, fuck, Master please, please, PLEASE suck my cock, please!” He runs his hands up and down my length and I groan. He looks at me with lust glazed over his eyes, pleading for me to pleasure him.  
“Ooooo. I don’t know. Master’s enjoying seeing his Dannykins beg.”

**Danny’s POV**

I look at him, looking deeply into his dark chocolate colored eyes. I look down at his gorgeous frame. He’s perfect. He is absolutely perfect. I glide my hands through his hair, my fingers slowly sliding down his face and he kisses my thumbs as they trail past his soft, sexy full lips. My nails graze over the soft skin on his neck. He swallows and I feel his Adam’s apple bounce up and down in his throat. I feel his pulse racing as my hands lead down to his chest. I feel his heart beating, and his erect nipples under my palms as I feel down to his chiseled abs, feeling them tense up to my touch, and his stomach rise and fall as he breathes deeply and slowly. I am so focused on his beauty that I don’t even realize I’m crying until Mark reaches down and wipes my tears away. He lowers himself to face me and kisses me affectionately and caresses my head.  
“Danny baby. Are you okay?” He sits back up and I hold onto his hands tightly and just keep staring to let the moment sink in.  
“You’re just perfect, baby. I mean, look at you. And then…me.”  
“Baby you’re beautiful. What the hell are you talking about?” Mark asks.  
“I mean, look at you, you are like a chiseled Greek fucking god with your sexy strong arms that just look sexier when they get veiny when you’re under stress during your lets plays, your perfect chest and chiseled abs, and a big, hard, stiff, throbbing cock that I’m sure tastes like peppermint stick ice cream.” He gives me a look of, ‘What the fuck?’ and then bursts into laughter.  
“Did…did you just say my dick tastes like peppermint stick ice cream? Am I getting this right?” He laughs more and I cover my face turning red from cackling. After catching our breaths, Mark grabs my hands and lifts me up to be close to him. He rubs his nose against mine.  
“I’m just a tall, lanky, nerdy, nappy haired dorky Jew.”  
“Yes you are. You are a tall, nerdy, dorky Jew. But you’re my tall, nerdy, dorky Jew. If…if you want…to be that is.”  
“Mark? Are you asking me to be your boyfriend?” I ask. As I say ‘boyfriend’ his eyes lighten up.  
“Yes, that’s what I’m asking.” He nibbles his bottom lip waiting for an answer. He looks so sexy.  
“How about you stop nibbling your lip so you can let your well endowed boyfriend nibble on it a little, huh?” I slap my hardening cock against the inside of his thigh.  
“Ahhh, Danny.” He moans softly and I see his member slowly rise to attention.  
“Mmmm, suck my cock, master. Please?” I rub his cock slowly. “I’ll make it worth your while.” He lays me back on the bed and slowly grinds against me making me moan loudly. I try to feel him up, but he pins my arms to the bed.  
“Naughty boy. No touchy.” Mark telling me not to touch him just makes me want him more.  
“Mmmmm Master, pleasure me please!” He scratches his nails down my sides and I whimper.  
“What will you do for me then, baby?” I hesitate saying it, but I know I’ve always wanted him to, and him teasing my entrance earlier just made me want it for sure.  
“I’ll let you make love to me.”

**Mark’s POV**

I let go of his wrists and fall out of character.  
“You…you’ll let me-“  
“Fuck me. Yes, Mark.” His tone turns from serious to sultry and sexy. “Because, to be honest, I’ve always wanted your hard cock in my tight, sexy hole.” He bites his lip, and I whimper at the thought.  
“Are you sure? I mean you’ve never been with a guy before. Are you sure?” He caresses my face and looks at me with his beautiful eyes.  
“Yes, I am positive, babe.” He kisses me.  
“You don’t seem nervous for this at all. God I’m more nervous than you are and I’m not even on the receiving end.”  
“Oh. Believe me I am nervous, love. But I trust you. And I wouldn’t want my first time with a man to be with anyone else but you.” My heart warms when he says that. I kiss him softly.  
“Wait do you have…” he stops.  
“Condoms Dan? Yes, don’t worry babe. I will keep both of us safe.” He kisses my nose.  
“Okay, good because I don’t want babies.” We both snort at the same time and start giggling.  
“You’re so silly, Danny baby.” He kisses me and his tongue caresses mine, and I feel his hands slide down my back, his hands grabbing my ass tightly, and I start grinding against him, and I pull him on top of me.  
“Mmmmm fuck baby, I love you so much.” Danny says before he throws his head back and moans out in pleasure.  
“Ahhh I love you too Danny.” He grinds himself against me, both of us moaning into each other’s mouth. I roll us over and I’m on top again, and I kiss and bite his neck, licking down to his nipples. I feel his fingers run through my hair as I go lower.  
“Mmmmm. Yeah baby, that’s right. Give Excalibur the big wet kiss he’s been waiting to get from you.” I can’t make him wait any longer because I can’t wait any longer. I kiss and lick the base of his cock while rubbing the rest of his cock. He moans, and his panting and heavy breathing becomes louder, and I just want to fuck him at this point.  
“Baby I just want to fuck you so badly right now. Please let me fuck you.”  
“Markimoo, slow down big boy.” He bites his lip and breathes in sharply as I lick the tip. “Mmmm. Suck Daddy’s big cock first and you can fuck me aaaallllll you like.” I take his cock into my mouth and suck the tip, twirling my tongue around, making his breathing much faster.  
“Oh, Oh my god baby, fuck! Fuck! More!” I deep throat his cock, making his hips buckle, his body hot and him white knuckling the sheets. I bob my head up and down, making sucking sounds and moaning as my lips tickle the base of his cock when I go down. I hum on his dick and I feel pre-cum in my mouth. I take his now huge, long, hard throbbing cock out of my mouth and kiss and lick up and down his length.  
“Markimoo?” I hear him whimper as I flick my tongue over his head.  
“Yes darling?” I come up to his face and kiss him deeply while slowly rubbing his cock. He reaches down and strokes mine, making me cry out.  
“I want you to fuck me, and I want you to fuck me hard,” I roll over on my back and he mounts me, and comes close to my face and moans as I tease his tight hole “and I want you to fill me with your hot, sexy cum.”  
“Oh baby, I will fill you to the fucking brim. Get on your hands and knees, Danny.” He doesn’t even question it and does what I say.

**Danny’s POV**

I get on my hands and knees, more than ready for what’s about to come. Mark kneels between my legs and pulls me by the hair to sit up. I moan out in pleasure.  
“Oooo baby, pull my hair again!” He pulls it again, and I moan even louder.  
“Yeah you like that, don’t you baby?” He says in a deep, sexy voice that makes me tremble.  
“Mmmmmmmm yes I love it, Markimoo.” He kisses my shoulder, up my neck. I close my eyes and he grabs my hips and runs his hands down the inside of my thighs. He takes his hands and tightly grabs my ass, making me whimper. I open my eyes again when he lays me on my stomach and kisses my shoulder blades, and biting and leaving hickeys all over my back. He pushes my hair out of the way and licks down the nape of my neck and down my spine, causing me to shiver and tremble. He kisses, licks, scratches and bites all over my ass making me moan Mark’s name.  
“Well if you love that, I hope you love this.” I close my eyes again waiting for what is about to come when I feel his tongue flick over my entrance. I ball up the sheets in my fist causing me to cry out in pleasure. He licks slowly at first, making my body shake and my muscles tense up.  
“Oh god baby. Just like that, mmmmm.” His licking becomes quicker and my moaning becomes louder. He massages my ass and spanks it every once in a while. I feel his tongue go into my tight hole, wiggle around and I scream out. My moans are shaky and I just want him in me.  
“Ah! Fuck! Mark, goddammit! Mmmmm please fuck me baby!” I feel him slide his tongue inside me and I scream out in pleasure, feeling it wriggle around. I see him grab the lube from his nightstand. He gets into a kneeling position and starts rubbing my back.  
“Are you sure baby? I don’t want to hurt you.” He grabs my hand.  
“Don’t let go. Please? I’m extremely nervous. Ready. But nervous.”  
“You know I won’t sweetie.” Mark lets go for a second to get himself ready, and then grabs my hand again. “Are you ready?” I breathe in deeply and grab his hand tighter.  
“As ready as I’ll ever be, love.” I prop myself up on my hands and knees. I then feel the head of his dick teasing my tight hole, making me groan.  
“You like that, Danny baby?” He groans softly, making me moan. He admits his tip in me slowly.  
“Mmmmm. Ahhh. Fuck yes baby.” He bends down and kisses up my back and inserts a little bit more and I shriek.  
“Are you okay, love?” He asks.  
“I’m fine darling. It just surprised me a bit that’s all.” He runs his fingertips down my back and thrusts his entire member into me slowly. I moan softly and he starts pumping slowly, making me groan in deep pleasure. I feel Mark’s hands slide up the backs of my thighs to my ass and he spanks me, thrusting faster.  
“Oh, Mark! More please!” He thrusts faster, making me yelp.  
“Mmmmmm you love Master’s hard throbbing cock, don’t you?” He says in a deep demanding tone.  
“Ah fuck, yes I do baby!” He pulls my hair.  
“That’s Master to you.” I ball up the sheets in my fist moaning louder, burying my face into the pillow. He thrusts faster and deeper. He hits my sweet spot and a vast wave of pleasure takes over my body. He thrusts harder, faster and deeper hitting just the right spot every time. He bends down and kisses and bites all over my back and squeezes my hand tighter.  
“Master fuck me harder!” He grabs my hips with both hands, still holding onto my hand, and crashes himself into me harder and I scream obscenities.  
“Ah, Danny I’m going to cum baby!”  
“Mmmmmm baby fill me up with your hot cum.” He thrusts harder than ever before into me, hitting my spot I feel a wave of pleasure take over my body again. Mark stops and pulls out. I turn around and look at him. He brings his hands up to my face and smiles at me.  
“As much as I love your ass, I prefer your face much more.” I giggle and he kisses me deeply. He collapses on me and kisses me passionately, tracing his lips and tongue over the curve of my Adam’s apple. He bites my collarbone and kisses down to my nipple, circling his tongue around it teasing me and making me whimper, then licking over it. He looks up at me and smirks.  
“Oh baby that smirk really gets me going.” I pause and look at him. “Please do it again.” He comes back to my face and kisses me, slipping his tongue in my mouth. I moan softly, and he kisses down my stomach biting everywhere. He then strokes the shaft of my cock while sucking the tip. I run my fingers through his hair, then down his neck.  
“Mark, more, Fuck! Mmmmm!” He takes my whole dick in his mouth, bobbing his head up and down slowly. I grab a handful of his hair and pull, my breathing becoming of a faster pace and my body feeling warm all of a sudden. I look down at him, enjoying every inch and savoring every taste of my cock. I bite my lip and smile mischievously.  
“Yeah baby? You like Excalibur, don’t you? Excalibur fucking looooves you. Fuck, Mark, more! More baby!” I feel him start to hum on my member and the sensation hits me like a brick wall and I scream in pleasure. He takes my cock out and licks up and down my length.  
“Baby does Excalibur like it when I hum on him?” He asks me then licks the tip.  
“Mark, shut up and make Daddy cum already.” He smiles at me and then sucks the tip and goes down and I feel his lips and tongue tickling the base. I feel him humming again and my body tenses up and my heart races. My hips buckle and I slowly thrust in and out of his mouth as he hums, grabbing his head and massaging my fingers through his hair.  
“Ah! Baby I’m cumming!” He stays where he is and keeps humming. He grabs my hand and my hips buckle and right before I cum he sucks just the tip, catching every drop in his mouth.  
“Mark! Ahhhhh! Fuck! Mmmmm!” He bends over my naked body and kisses back up to my face and kisses my lips, letting me taste what he tastes. I reach down and slowly stroke his cock and he moans softly.

 

**Mark’s POV**

“You’re good to Daddy and Daddy is good to you, baby.” I bite his bottom lip and tug on it as he strokes my cock faster.  
“Oh more Daddy, I’m so close!” I kiss him deeply and moan sexily into his mouth. He rubs my cock faster and I moan louder as I sit up and sit on him.  
“Be a good boy and cum for Daddy, Markimoo. I know you want to.” Danny says seductively.  
“And I’ll cum all over you like you want, Daddy. I’m so close right now. Faster Daddy, please?” I ask as I run my hands up his stomach and chest and scratch down. I feel my pleasure coming to its peak, and I beg Danny to stroke faster.  
“Danny I’m cumming baby!”  
“Mmmmm cum all over me Markimoo.” As he says that I feel my body tense up and I cum all over his chest and his stomach, moaning his name out loud. I catch my breath and throw my head back, then look down at him. I lick from his stomach to his chest, cleaning my mess up and kiss him deeply, letting him have a taste of me.  
“Mmmmm baby.” He says. I giggle and get off of him, lying beside Danny holding him close. I grab his hand and kiss it.  
“Baby, you’re going to have to wear your ‘choking hazard’ shirt more often, because it speaks the truth.” I say and we chuckle.  
“Well you seemed to be taking it like a champ. Did Excalibur choke you?” He asks giggling a little.  
“Just a bit, but it wasn’t too bad.” We get under the covers. He grabs my hand again. We rub noses and we kiss each other.  
“You know I mean it when I say you are beautiful, right?” Danny asks.  
“I do, yes. I love you so much Dan. I do want you to know that. I’m so sorry I was a jerk today; and for the last three months. I was scared. I guess I wasn’t as comfortable in my own skin being bisexual as I thought. I’m sorry I hurt you. When I saw you at my door today, you looked like a fucking wreck, and I felt like the biggest asshole on earth.” I caress his face and look deeply into his eyes. “I never wanted to hurt you. I care about you. Somehow my pea brain figured if I cut off communication with you that my feelings would go away. They only became stronger with time.”  
“Mark. I’m not mad at you. I understand. I get it, it’s okay.” He kisses me passionately. “You know this is going to sound silly. But I became smitten the moment I saw your face and heard you say, ‘Hello everybody, my name is Markiplier.’” He smiles and I smile back, blushing.  
“I actually heard your voice before I saw your face. Your voice is very calming, but very sexy. I fell in love with your laugh though. Your laugh makes me laugh, which makes me blush because I love it so much. But when I saw pictures of you, I thought and still think you are the most gorgeous man I’ve ever laid my eyes on.” Danny blushes and I kiss his nose.  
“And now I am in bed, naked, after having amazing sex with a beautiful, nerdy, stocky Korean man that I can call mine. I really hope I don’t wake up in the morning in my own bed alone only to find out this was all a dream.” Danny says grinning.  
“And I’m in bed, naked, after having hot sex with a gorgeous, dorky, tall, lanky, comeback because you called me stocky,” I laugh loudly, “Jewish man that I know will still be here because this isn’t a dream. I will wake up the next morning still wrapped up in your arms. Will I?”  
“Of course you will, Markimoo. I love you.”  
“And I love you Danny baby.” I nuzzle my head into his chest and hold tightly. “Mine.” I say. He smiles and kisses the top of my head, resting his cheek on it.  
“Mine.” Danny says back.  
“All mine?” I look up at him and he looks down at me.  
“All yours baby. All mine?”  
“All yours, love.” Some of his gorgeous curls fall in his face. I push them out of his face and kiss him deeply. He smiles at me.  
“Goodnight my Markimoo. I love you.” He kisses the top of my head.  
“Goodnight my Danny baby. I love you too.” I feel his fingers run through my hair as I fall asleep in his arms.


End file.
